Last year was the physical phase, or doing everything in our power to protect our health and the health of our loved ones by staying away from people and staying home. Now, we’re going to have to do a lot of emotional work and find ways to process such a traumatic and life-changing experience. “During the ‘heat’ of the pandemic, some of us were in overdrive, taking our temperature, hoarding toilet paper, monitoring our oxygen levels, obsessively washing our hands and surfaces, making sure we had masks on, learning how to use Zoom, etc,” says Dr. Sanam Hafeez, NYC-based Neuropsychologist and Faculty Member at Columbia University. “How an individual reacts to the emotional phase depends largely on how much the pandemic affected them personally and the degree to which their city/state was ’locked down’ and how long that period lasted.” Dr. Hafeez adds that the emotional phase also takes into account if people lost loved ones to COVID, had COVID themselves, or were isolated without friends and family for long periods of time. All of the pandemic precautions seemed very alien at first: Wearing masks, social distancing, not hugging or shaking hands, working from home—but after a year, many people acclimated. Going into the emotional phase brings up different fears and anxiety for each individual. For the person who is an introvert or has social anxiety, they may feel awkward or out of practice in social situations. For many, there were elements of “cocooned” life that started to become appealing. When the “all clear” bell suddenly goes off and people have to be concerned about what they are wearing, what they look like, trips they are or are not taking, in-person office politics, weddings, dinner parties, etc. because many of us are out of practice because we started to feel safe in our insular world. Re-entering can cause a number of negative feelings, anxiety being a key emotion. Some may experience what has been coined “languishing,” which is not actual sadness, but the lack of feeling joy about one’s life. It’s basically a huge case of the “blahs"—the opposite of flourishing, or waking up in the morning with excitement. Those who are languishing now are likely feeling a lack of emotion, emptiness, and unmotivated. Whereas depressed people might not leave their bed, those who languish will do so but in an apathetic way and go through the motions. French existentialists long ago coined this “ennui,” which is “a feeling of weariness and dissatisfaction.” There are ways to get your mojo back even in seemingly small steps.
5 ways to cope with emotional trauma
If you’ve been struggling with the emotional aftermath of the pandemic, try these helpful tips and techniques from Dr. Hafeez:
Share your concerns with others and read up on post-pandemic anxiety
“Talk to friends and family and share your concerns and see if others share your sentiments,” says Dr. Hafeez. “Read articles online about how to cope with post-pandemic anxiety. Learn about anxiety in general and what tools can be used to master it such as belly breathing and meditation. If these thoughts are really interfering with your quality of life, seek help from a mental health professional.”
Enlist the help of the most optimistic friend you have
“Positivity is contagious in a good way,” says Dr. Hafeez. “Call the most upbeat friend you know and ask to spend time with them in person. Listening to the way they talk and view things will be helpful. Ask them how they are spending their time and if there are any activities, zoom meetings, groups they are involved with that you can join. People who are ‘doers’ under any circumstance always find constructive ways to stay busy.”
Donate your time to a charity
When life has you in the doldrums, you likely feel undervalued and invisible. There are so many worthwhile charities that can use the time and skills you have. Giving back to others will give you purpose and bolster your self-esteem. Having a time and place to be somewhere will also give you a set routine.
Create a project
The scale of this depends on the budget you have. Starting and completing something will give you a sense of purpose. It can be as small as reorganizing and de-cluttering a space in your home, creating a garden, re-decorating a patio for the summer,or giving your bedroom a summer make-over.
Revamp your fitness
If you have been doing yoga the entire pandemic, maybe it’s time to switch it up or mix in more cardio. There are more online workout platforms than ever before. If you’re in a rut, perhaps your workout is languishing as well. Shake it up with a new method of fitness. Next, read these 50 tips for building resilience.
Sources
The Armchair Expert Podcast: “Prince Harry” Sanam Hafeez, New York-based Neuropsychologist and Faculty Member at Columbia University
