“I have an aunt named Karen who is a total Karen. I cackled when the slang became a thing,” Michael Freeby, a 25-year-old celebrity photographer, tells Parade. Sure, you could be a Karen, but you could also be a total Karen. Karens can be women or men as well, so with so much fluidity surrounding the slang term that’s taking social media like Instagram and TikTok by storm, how do you use it? What does it mean to call someone a Karen?
What Exactly Is a Karen?
“A Karen is a pushy, corny white woman who is insensitive to those around her, who doesn’t read the room, who puts herself first, yet complains in a whiny voice,” Freeby says. Freeby’s knack for perfectly encapsulating the “Karen” stereotype is spot-on. In fact, Freeby’s personal definition is shockingly close to the unofficial definition set forth byUrban Dictionary. According to Urban, a Karen is a “middle-aged woman, typically blonde, makes solutions to others’ problems an inconvenience to her although she isn’t remotely affected.” In short, it’s a stereotype, one that has picked up a ton of traction on the internet, becoming the butt of online jokes. Like other female names that have gone viral for specific, if not back-handed, cultural connotations—Felicia, Becky, and similarly to Karen, Sharon—Karens are not exactly special. In fact, they’re all too common. “In spite of those ultra-specific details, Karens are surprisingly very common,” Freeby explains. “Of course, a man can be a Karen and anyone of any race can be a Karen—although it most frequently refers to the white women who interact with minorities in a condescending manner while using a whiny voice. “I was recently in the supermarket at the deli and freshly made salads area,” Freeby continues. “It was crowded, with long lines of people wrapped around the deli. The man in charge of serving the custom orders was a very polite dark-skinned Asian man, clearly trying to get through all the orders and custom labeling as fast as possible. A woman he was already attending to, who already gave him a long list, began cutting through the line, breaking social distancing, and took her face mask off to follow him and nasally scream instructions at him… to do the things he was already doing.” Freeby adds, “And then she kept repeating the instructions and screaming louder. Total Karen.” So, is it an insult? It’s certainly most often used that way. It’s also worth noting that some people of color (POC) tend to use it as a way to reference an out-of-touch white person who is entitled and in general, not sensitive to other peoples’ needs, wants, or aware of her own privilege. Andrew Cunningham, founder of DailyPest, is constantly bogged down by derogatory Karen memes as his wife’s name is Karen. “You see Karen memes online so much you’ll forget they exist in real life. Luckily for me, I have a wife named Karen who tells me everyday who made a Karen joke at her expense. When most people think of a Karen, they might picture a hysterical, white, entitled and most importantly ‘middle aged’ woman who is capable of causing harm to others,” he explains. “A woman who believes, no matter what, that she is 100% correct about everything. She will argue, scream, threaten to get her way, and demand to speak to the manager.”
Where Did Karen Come From?
Karen has been a relatively popular girls’ name for decades. According to reports from Everything-Birthday.com, the name “Karen” has been around since 1880. The name has reached the U.S.’s list of the top 10 most popular girls’ names three times in history and has ranked in the top 100 girls’ names a total of 50 times. The name was most popular in 1956 when it spiked by 117.31 percent. In fact, in that year alone, 41,000 baby girls were named Karen. But the name’s pop cultural significance has little to do with its origins and history. Instead, calling someone “a Karen” became popular a few years ago, particularly with POC using it as a way to “satirize,” according to BBC, “the class-based and racially charged hostility they often face.” This kind of Karen, yes, might be annoying in a supermarket like the one Freeby mentions above; but the racially charged Karen could also commit infractions much more damaging and bias: complaining about POC, performing microaggressions, and ultimately, being racist. Fast forward to 2020 and the Karen has taken on new meaning given the higher stakes. This year’s version of Karen is Coronavirus Karen; she’s generally conservative, refuses to wear a mask in public spaces, and may think the pandemic is a hoax. Cunningham, whose wife’s name is Karen, soon found himself interested in the origins of the term after his wife recounted the many stories. “While obviously not accurate with everyone whose name is Karen, there might be a little bit of history to why ‘a Karen’ is typically considered a middle-aged woman. Most of the women we see being targeted under the meme-term ‘Karen’ are in their late 40’s to early ’60s… and if we look at the top names in the birth years of that range, you will find that the name Karen had a huge spike peaking out in 1957,” he explains. But it might also have more to do with pop culture references as well, including the infamously “dumb” Karen character in Mean Girls. Though the main personality trait of Karen Smith—played by Amanda Seyfriend—is stupidity, she also notoriously asks Lindsay Lohan’s character at the lunch table, “So, if you’re from Africa, why are you white?” “With my wife in the crosshairs of this meme, we dug deep and came upon a revelation that the meme may have been used for over 15 years now. The name Karen has been referenced in a negative and joking light in both the film Mean Girls and in several of the comedy acts Dane Cook recorded a year prior. We also came upon the realization that the Karen meme may have also gained traction from the Speak to the Manager Haircut, a meme that was popular before Karen rose up.”
What Is a Karen Haircut?
Since “a Karen” is a fictitious stereotype, there is no one haircut per se that the persona of a Karen abides by. However, when you Google “What is a Karen haircut?,” the first picture that pops up is of early 2000s-Kate Gosselin of TLC’s Jon and Kate Plus Eight fame. Because “Karen” is a stereotype, people tend to let their thoughts run wild with what Karen would theoretically be. Most notably, with her hair and outfits. According to Mane Addicts, a Karen is most often characterized by a “short, angled, and layered haircut” that typically also features “harsh blonde highlights.” Which not so coincidentally brings us back to early-2000s Gosselin.
What Is a Karen Moment?
Some people might have a “Karen Moment.” In the context of the Karen meme and slang term, this simply means that while a person may not be accurately characterized as a full-blown Karen, the person may very well be acting like one and might need a reality check. “‘Karen’ can be considered an insult, but it can also be considered a ‘warning’ to guide the Karen into behaving themselves more properly,” Freeby explains. If you explain to someone that they might be having a Karen Moment, it’s a savvy way of conveying that the person needs a bit of a reality check—that they might be acting selfish, entitled, or privileged. If tossed around amongst friends, it could 100-percent just be a joke or an exaggeration.
How to Avoid Being a Karen
Are you worried you’re acting like a Karen? Maybe you are. The best way to check yourself re: acting like a Karen is to check your own privilege. The main criticism about “Karens” is that they act entitled and are, in general, out of touch with reality, specifically when it comes to taking into consideration other peoples’ needs and existence—particularly in relation to POC. Not sure where to start? Check out our anti-racist starter pack full of movies, TV shows, and books that can encourage white people to effectively assess their privilege. “I feel like a lot of the ‘Karens’ are likely the result of not having grown up surrounded by diversity, and from hearing many erroneous, inaccurate tales of people who don’t look like them being somehow inadequate,” Freeby surmises. “I think it’s a learning curve that requires patience, but ultimately many people just want to be treated with respect.”
