In the past, there’s been a lot of rumors suggesting that Spears actually liked living under the conservatorship, but if nothing else, the pop icon made it crystal clear in court that nothing could be further from the truth. “It is my wish and dream for all of this to end. I want my life back,” Spears told a judge. ““I truly believe this conservatorship is abusive. My request is to end the conservatorship without being evaluated like before.” As we wait for the judge to hand down a decision from the latest hearing, take a look below at the 10 most unbelievable claims Spears made about what her A-list life is really like.

What did Britney Spears say?

Britney Spears’ IUD

The 39-year-old Spears hinted that she’d like to have children with longtime beau Sam Asghari (she shares sons Sean Preston Federline and Jayden James Federline with ex-husband Kevin Federline) but can’t even attempt to get pregnant because she’s on birth control—against her wishes.  She said, “I have an IUD in my body right now that won’t let me have a baby, and my conservators won’t let me go to the doctor to take it out… I wanted to take the IUD out so I could start trying to have another baby, but this so-called team won’t let me go to the doctor to take it out because they don’t want me to have children, any more children." As for Ashgari, he found a way to lend Spears his support when he shared a selfie on social media that showed him sporting a #FreeBritney T-shirt. 

Britney Spears’ boyfriend

If you’ve ever wondered why Spears and Asghari have yet to get married, that’s apparently also because of the conservatorship as well. “I was told right now in the conservatorship, I’m not able to get married or have a baby,” Spears claimed.

Britney Spears’ lithium

Just as she claims she was forced to be on birth control against her wishes, Spears also said she’s taken lithium because the conservatorship demands it.   “I felt drunk. I couldn’t even stick up for myself,” Spears said about how the medication made her feel, according to CNN. “They had six different nurses come to my home to monitor me while I was on this medication that I didn’t want to be on to begin with.”

Britney Spears’ performances

One reason Spears was put on medication against her consent? According to what she told the court, prescriptions were practically doled out as punishment—such as one time when she was rehearsing for a performance and questioned a particular piece of choreography. “It was as if I planted a huge bomb somewhere,” Spears said. “I’m not here to be anyone’s slave. I can say no to a dance move.”

Britney Spears’ depression

And Spears made clear in court, being controlled by her conservatorship has made Spears angry and depressed. “I’m not happy,” she bluntly told the court. “I can’t sleep, I’m depressed, I cry every day… I’m so angry it’s insane and I’m depressed.” 

Britney Spears’ Instagram

Some people following Spears’ case found it hard to believe the conservatorship was damaging to her because of the cheerful disposition she always seems to exude on social media, especially Instagram. But on Wednesday, making it perfectly clear just how damaging she believes her conservatorship to be, Spears said the whole experience has left her traumatized—even if, to look at her social media accounts, her life is all butterflies and rainbows. “After I’ve told the whole world I’m OK, it’s a lie… I thought I might become happy because I’ve been in denial." she explained about the image she gives off on Instagram. “I’ve been in shock. I am traumatized. You know, fake it til’ you make it. But now I’m telling you the truth.”

Britney Spears’ attorney

When Spears’ conservatorship was first put into place in 2008, she was appointed an attorney by the court named Samuel Ingham III—who still represents her today. In the latest hearing, Spears asked for the ability to choose her own lawyer to represent her. 

Britney Spears’ judge

In perhaps the most surprising sign of Spears sticking up for herself, she also really let the judge on her case have it! “The last time I spoke to you…made me feel like I was dead, like I didn’t matter, like nothing had been done to me, like you thought I was lying,” Spears told Judge Brenda J. Penny. “I want to be heard. I’m telling you this again so that maybe you understand the depth and degree and the damage…I want and deserve changes going forward.”

What did Britney Spears’ dad do?

Jamie Spears has been one of Britney’s co-conservators throughout this long process, and as was reported earlier this week, it’s an arrangement he clearly benefits from financially. But Britney says her father actually enjoyed the control he had, separate from any money he made. “He loved the control he had over me, one hundred thousand percent,” Spears said, even suggesting that she believed he should be put behind bars for what he did to her. As for the rest of her family, Spears indicated that they’ve taken an opposite, totally hands-off approach to her well-being, letting Jamie run the conservatorship as he saw fit—and that Spears resented that as well. “My family didn’t do a goddam thing,” she said. “Anything that happened to me had to be approved by my dad.

Britney Spears’ family

Not only did Spears express just how betrayed she feels by her family; she also expressed a desire to make them pay by suggesting she might eventually sue them.  Next, find out why Jim Parsons gives Britney Spears “a lot of credit” for his acting career.

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