Officially defined as “the customary code of polite behavior in society or among members of a particular profession or group,” etiquette—really, at its core—is all about the consideration of others. Parade.com reached out to Jacqueline Whitmore, international etiquette expert, author, and certified speaking professional, for her professional opinion on the do’s and don’ts of etiquette. According to Whitmore’s own personal definition, etiquette is “simply being mindful of how our behavior affects other people.” Obviously, there is a lot of ambiguity in a definition like that and inherently, it means that “etiquette” varies from person to person, interaction to interaction, and situation to situation. So, how does one know the appropriate etiquette for each individual scenario? Whitmore says it’s all about reading the room. “To me, ’etiquette’ refers to social rules that are intended to ease the way we interact and share socially,” civility and etiquette expert and bestselling author, Dr. Lewena Bayer, exclusively tells Parade.com. “When people are unsure (based on their moral compass) how to behave, or if they find themselves in new situations, etiquette rules provide a way to get by with fewer social faux pas and with causing less offense.” And remember—etiquette is hardly a thing of the past. It still exists today, only in a more modern version. It’s always relevant (and appropriate) to be polite or to show manners, even if “etiquette” is a word that, to you, elicits some old-timey connotations—whether they have to do with proper courting or which spoon to use first at the dinner table. “More and more things are muddy and expectations are not clear and so people are looking for directions,” explains Dr. Bayer. “Etiquette rules can help with this. One example where things are unclear is online e.g., social media where there are a few guidelines, but also a lot of subjectivity, and since many people don’t use their common sense, we need more rules… Etiquette offers a way to interact with lowered risk of being embarrassed or hurting other people’s feelings.” Think it sounds too high-brow? It’s really not! Keep reading for top tips from leading etiquette experts on how to be as polite as possible with these 50 etiquette rules to live by.
50 Etiquette Rules to Live By
1. Hold the door for the person behind you.
2. Never lick your knife.
3. Keep a supply of thank-you notes on hand for those times when someone gives you a gift.
4. Never take a roll from the breadbasket without offering it to your neighbor first.
5. Be punctual.
6. Let someone go in front of you in line.
7. Put your phone away during meals.
8. Always RSVP and do it right away before you forget.
9. Dress for the occasion. It’s better to be overdressed than underdressed.
10. Use your turn signal.
11. Return your shopping cart to the corral instead of leaving it in the parking lot.
12. Push in your chair when you leave the table.
13. Offer to help clean up.
14. Ask before bringing a guest.
15. Apologize when you are wrong.
16. Wait until everyone has been served before you begin eating.
17. Be kind to your server.
18. Don’t put your feet on someone else’s furniture.
19. Let people get off the elevator before you get on.
20. Don’t groom yourself in public. This includes clipping your nails, brushing your hair or picking your teeth.
21. Don’t talk with your mouth full of food.
22. Return money that you borrow before the giver asks for it.
23. Never order the most expensive item on the menu if you’re not paying the bill.
24. Never give advice unless someone asks or pays for it.
25. Treat the janitor with the same respect as the CEO.
26. When someone shows you a picture on their phone, don’t swipe left or right.
27. Don’t spit in public.
28. Pick up after your dog.
29. Offer to help someone on an airplane who is struggling to stow their luggage.
30. Don’t double-dip at a party.
31. Respect everyone’s personal space.
32. Don’t correct someone’s grammar in public.
33. Talk less; listen more.
34. Don’t stare.
35. Keep your word.
36. Keep your voice down when walking down a hotel hallway. And don’t slam your hotel door.
37. Avoid finishing other people’s sentences.
38. Don’t block the baggage conveyor while waiting for your bags at an airport. Allow enough room for others to retrieve their bags.
39. Say “excuse me,” after you burp or pass gas.
40. If someone offers you a mint, take it.
41. Treat people how you want to be treated.
42. If you have more than you need, share it with someone who has less.
43. Always say “thank you” to show your graciousness.
44. Assume the best of people.
45. Send a thank you note within 48 hours of a meeting or event.
46. If you use something public, tidy it up for the next person.
47. Is someone in a rush to get in your lane while driving? Let them in.
48. If you are going to dinner at someone’s home, don’t go empty-handed; take something.
49. If you borrow something, return it with a little extra.
50. Accept other people’s apologies.
Next up, not sure if you should split the check? Here’s your how-to guide. Disclaimer: All 50 etiquette tips have been reviewed and/or provided by either Jacqueline Whitmore or Dr. Lewena Bayer, etiquette experts.
